Jason Statham Quotes:
"It's something I never dreamed I'd be doing, making movies."
--That might explain his massive amount of acting talent?
"I've never been one to run around in Speedos on the beach."
--He is so bad-ass that he can tell a lie like this and make you actually hallucinate that he wears clothes to the beach.
"I'm certainly not Tom Cruise or Brad Pitt."
--Sub-text: Those guys are fags.
"I suppose that's the European way, dangerous and hairy."
--Prime example: Jason Statham.
"A lot of action movies today seem to have scenes that just lead up to the action."
--I didn't know Jason Statham directed all of his movies!?
"Well, I'm used to rubbing shoulders with crooks and criminals."
--That is unless you're a female crook or criminal...
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Patton Oswalt is On Board
A link to Patton Oswalt's Myspace blog.
Damn funny motherfucker. He could stomp any frat kid into a smushy pile of dousche cheese any day. -P
Damn funny motherfucker. He could stomp any frat kid into a smushy pile of dousche cheese any day. -P
Day Two
The topic of man purses is a no brainer. They’re not acceptable and a definite knock on any bad ass’ persona. But, Jason Statham is infallible………. Or is he? My guess….. he’s carrying the dead body of a ninja assassin in there that he undoubtedly kicked the head off of in a roid-y, shirtless jiu-jitsu fight.
Ok uses of the word "purse" in a sentence with the word "man":
4.a sum of money offered as a prize or reward.
5.a sum of money collected as a present or the like.
6.money, resources, or wealth.
Not cool uses of the word "purse" in a sentence with the word "man":
1.a woman's handbag or pocketbook.
2.a small bag, pouch, or case for carrying money.
3.anything resembling a purse in appearance, use, etc.
Could the phrase “a small bag” in #2 be referring to a certain women’s odor correcting product?
Is Jason Statham a “douche purse”? You chime in.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Some Tidbits...
--Jason Statham sued the universe because it refused to recognize him as the biggest star in it.
--To compete with Coors cold-filtering, Budwieser now Jason Statham filters its' beer.
--The only fight Jason Statham ever lost was the fight with his own reflection as to who was more handsome.
--Jason Statham could cure global warming, but that would require him to wear a shirt more often.
--Jason Statham's next role is Jesus in a remake of The Passion of The Christ. Jesus is reportedly begging for a camio as Jason Statham.
--Staham once had a bout with cancer but it only went :14 seconds into the first round.
--Ed Hardy wears a Jason Statham t-shirt.
--Jason Statham isn't allowed to get lap dances at strip clubs due to several dancers dying of mysterious impaling deaths.
--To compete with Coors cold-filtering, Budwieser now Jason Statham filters its' beer.
--The only fight Jason Statham ever lost was the fight with his own reflection as to who was more handsome.
--Jason Statham could cure global warming, but that would require him to wear a shirt more often.
--Jason Statham's next role is Jesus in a remake of The Passion of The Christ. Jesus is reportedly begging for a camio as Jason Statham.
--Staham once had a bout with cancer but it only went :14 seconds into the first round.
--Ed Hardy wears a Jason Statham t-shirt.
--Jason Statham isn't allowed to get lap dances at strip clubs due to several dancers dying of mysterious impaling deaths.
Day One
Our story begins one fateful evening whilst I was revisiting the good old Chuck Norris top 100 jokes. I decided that with the chatter online and my love for stupid jokes that Statham needs to be the next contender for "Most Bad-Ass Human." I love the Norris jokes but don't you agree they're a little dated?
So, in one of my renowned drunken texting stints, I decided Jason Statham is the obvious choice to take over Chuck's title. Many would argue that Vin Diesel is runner-up, but come on...he is way too easy to make fun of. Statham is far and away more bad-ass than Diesel. Even the name Diesel is whack... he doesn't power any kind of vehicle nor is he better for the environment than anyone else, right?
This blog will be the forum in which my three brothers and myself put our pieces of knowledge down to show that Jason Statham is extraordinarily bad-ass and could possibly be the "Most Bad-Ass Human" alive today. I hope you will be convinced by these tidbits of information.
Enjoy!
Edit: Thought we should probably add a disclaimer that everything on this site is a joke and not meant to be factual or offensive to anyone. So if you can't take a joke, we'll have Mr. Statham come kick you in the face. Thanks.
So, in one of my renowned drunken texting stints, I decided Jason Statham is the obvious choice to take over Chuck's title. Many would argue that Vin Diesel is runner-up, but come on...he is way too easy to make fun of. Statham is far and away more bad-ass than Diesel. Even the name Diesel is whack... he doesn't power any kind of vehicle nor is he better for the environment than anyone else, right?
This blog will be the forum in which my three brothers and myself put our pieces of knowledge down to show that Jason Statham is extraordinarily bad-ass and could possibly be the "Most Bad-Ass Human" alive today. I hope you will be convinced by these tidbits of information.
Enjoy!
Edit: Thought we should probably add a disclaimer that everything on this site is a joke and not meant to be factual or offensive to anyone. So if you can't take a joke, we'll have Mr. Statham come kick you in the face. Thanks.
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