--Jason Statham sued the universe because it refused to recognize him as the biggest star in it.
--To compete with Coors cold-filtering, Budwieser now Jason Statham filters its' beer.
--The only fight Jason Statham ever lost was the fight with his own reflection as to who was more handsome.
--Jason Statham could cure global warming, but that would require him to wear a shirt more often.
--Jason Statham's next role is Jesus in a remake of The Passion of The Christ. Jesus is reportedly begging for a camio as Jason Statham.
--Staham once had a bout with cancer but it only went :14 seconds into the first round.
--Ed Hardy wears a Jason Statham t-shirt.
--Jason Statham isn't allowed to get lap dances at strip clubs due to several dancers dying of mysterious impaling deaths.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Jason Stathom successfully sued Mattel and DC comics for the rights to He-Man's Master of the Universe title.
ReplyDeleteAll of Jason Stathom's movie contracts include a manditory Chinese infants on set that he can punch between scenes to keep his hands baby soft
ReplyDeleteJason Stathom is not allowed to hail a cab for fear that physical movement of his arm would cause tornadoes.
ReplyDeleteWhales collect sunken treasure for the "Save Jason Stathom" fund.
ReplyDeleteObviously they are not as smart as scientist thought, because Jason Stathom needs no saving.
Jason Stathom created global warming just so he didnt have to wear clothes anymore.
ReplyDeleteAnyone with a man-cruch on Jason Stathom is required by law to get titties because to make Jason Stathom feel the slightest ting of homosexual tension results in instant rocket propelled death by the sun.
ReplyDeleteJason stathom beat his junk once and he woke up the next morning to find his package in witness protection progam
ReplyDeleteJason Stathom can only cup his balls with the holy grail
ReplyDeleteJason Stathom went to a strip club and made it rain. Seven stripers and thirteen nerds died in the ensuing flood.
ReplyDeleteJason Stathom could bankrupt Coke and Pepsi if he decided to pull down his pants and sell Stathom One strait from the source.
ReplyDeleteJason Stathom says everything is, "the best thing since Jason Statham" since he's always karate chopped his own bread into slices.
ReplyDeleteJason Statham once had a staring competition with one of the heads on Easter Island and won.
ReplyDeleteTo stay in shape between movies Jason Statham does side jobs demo'ing commercial building with karate kicks.
ReplyDeleteJason Statham is so cold blooded he donates liquid nitrogen to the Red Cross.
ReplyDeleteJason Statham has a lap pool at his house filled with hot lava.
ReplyDelete